August 2023 Studio Reflection

In the muck and the mire.

What a slog of a month. This August has felt like grief in motion, a hot, sticky, mucky mess of mud tugging at my footsteps. I’ve been extraordinarily fatigued, yet often find myself waking up at night. I’ve always struggled to soothe through stress, and this month has been a real test of my ability to function through it all.

In these times art making feels especially crucial to my lifeforce. I’ve had a pile of projects on my desk this month that I’ve been bouncing between-an exhibition, a book, that long term project that I keep mentioning, as well as some less focused photography that makes me think I’m starting to shift into a new space within my practice. I typically start new projects with an intuitive, unstructured period of time in which I just make images without really connecting what they’re about, so when I start just making images without a clear direction in mind I start thinking there’s something that needs to get worked on in the future.

A big influence on my practice this month was an unexpected read. I typically keep a few books checked out through the library app so that I can combat the urge to scroll aimlessly through social media by reading instead. I randomly came across Faith, Hope and Carnage by Nick Cave and Seán O’Hagan and it was such an unexpected delight. Grief, faith, and art are all heavy themes of the book, and I found myself, despite only having listened to Nick Cave a little bit prior to reading the book, really resonating with his creative process.