October 2023 - Studio Reflection

Autumn, self reflection, a legacy of car repairs, and maybe a fae portal.

Autumn holds death in it. The atmosphere is veil thin, light cautious in its illumination. I am a seasonal being, from childhood I have often felt the ebb and flow of the year and been affected greatly by the weather. Cold is something I feel in my bones; my muscles are slower in the downward swing of the year.

I wrote recently about not making much, and that is something that continued into this month. I have only really picked up my camera over this past week, making the handful of images that are included in this post. I feel myself returning to making, slowly, after a period of disconnection.

In the last post I shared on Substack, I talked about the differing ways that photography has shown up in relation to periods of diagnosis for me. I recently became aware of my aversion to facing a recent diagnosis that has put me into a position of uncertainty regarding the next few months and what they might look like. That aversion translated into a lack of photography; I didn’t want to make work about myself, I didn’t want to engage in the self reflection needed to make the work that I do.